Whale Wars: My Protest Against Vineyard Vines

Oh I know this one is going to get under some people’s skin, but let’s get right to it.

Preppy.” According to everyone’s source for answers, Google, the word describes the way that someone dresses:

  1. (n.) a student or graduate of an expensive prep school or a person resembling such a student in dress or appearance.
  2. (adj.) of or typical of a student or graduate of an expensive prep school, especially with reference to their style of dress.

I have been told that I dress kinda preppy. I don’t see anything wrong with wearing a nice button down and shorts for no special occasion, but I wouldn’t call that preppy. Maybe that’s just me being very critical because when I think of preppy I think of one brand and one brand only: Vineyard Vines. I can’t even say the name without cringing a little. So here’s the exact reason why I think Vineyard Vines is the epitome of preppy and everything wrong with clothing.

VineyardVines Cross out

First off why don’t we go back to Google and see how the brand portrays themselves.

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 9.21.41 AMDING! DING! DING! This company prides itself in its preppy-ness. Okay, I understand it’s not the only “Preppy” clothing brand, but I see the big pink whale and pink logo more than any others. So what’s the catch? The whale… that’s it. The brand name is what everyone is paying for. Vineyard Vines is just a clear example of how brand name clothing gets away with overpricing their clothes.

I have only ever been to one of their stores once. Not to buy something for myself so let’s clear that up quickly, but rather a friend. What struck my eye was the small rack off to the side marked “Clearance.” I know, what a good friend I am for looking at clearance before any of the actual clothes, but I’d say in a store like this it was acceptable. “40% off.” Hey, that ain’t so bad. Then I did the math and a long sleeve shirt with a small logo of the front and a big logo on the back came to about $40… Ha. I walked away.

So what was the gift? A pair of boxers. Yes, boxers from Vineyard Vines. They better have been lucky or something because they were $24.50… to be exact. See that is exactly my point. People are buying these clothes because they are that specific brand.  How about we do a little comparison now.

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.05.12 AM          Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.05.30 AM          Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.06.10 AM

Would ya look at that? Alright, Vineyard Vines’ boxers are on the left. Don’t have much to say about them anymore. Everyone’s favorite retailer for great clothes at great prices, Macy’s, comes in and hits us with that 4 Pack, BINGO! But don’t worry people, especially you preppy ones, if you’re looking for something a little more dressier to wear under your clothes, head over to Vineyard Vines for a $42 pair of “Dress Boxers”.

WINNER: Macy’s, simple. Alright, to be honest I’d love to hear some arguments for the Dress Boxers because to me I honestly have no idea why anyone would even think about buying them when they cost more than the shirt on “Clearance.”

Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.17.42 AM           Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 10.20.53 AM

Just one more to keep it short and simple, but next up we have the Vineyard Vines classic, the sport shirt. Maybe I’m wrong, but I would not be playing sports in either of these shirts. I don’t know how they have managed to do it, but I’ve seen numerous people wearing the Vineyard Vines shirt that looks like they took 4 different shirts and just mixed them all up. But Macy’s comes in yet again with their very own sport shirt.

WINNER: Macy’s. Yes, I understand that the style of Macy’s shirt may be a bit boring compared to the rainbow that Vineyard Vines offers, but with the extra $70 I’d save I would be able to actually have money in my bank account. I say that coming from a broke college student but hey, that’s fine.

Alright, so basically I can’t get myself to understand all the hype about the clothing with a whale attached to it. For a company that started out making ties, I would say they have brainwashed too many people. If this trend continues when whales are just on everyone’s shirt, I might as well be swimming with the fishes.


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